Macaroni and Cheese-The Only Good Thing I Got From My Ex

I, like so many people, have an ex. I feel confident saying that most people have an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/friend. And if you happen to live in a small city that no one ever leaves chances are you will run into your ex-boyfriend. Then you might do some Facebook stalking* to see how much worse off his life is now that you aren’t in it, and find out he has a new girlfriend.

Who looks like Andre the Giant in a long blonde wig.**

Not this happened to me.

But if it were to happen, chances are she would work at one the restaurants I regularly hit up for happy hour. Because I am a good okay person I would resist the urge to quote Fezzik whenever she walked by.

“It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.”

“I’m on the brute squad”

“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?”

Thankfully, I have fantastic friends who pointed out that my ex was kind of worthless***. And while I wouldn’t go that far, I will say the best thing I got from my ex-boyfriend was a recipe for macaroni and cheese.

This recipe is super cheesy, clocking in at over 2 pounds of cheese to 1 pound of macaroni. Its unlike any other macaroni and cheese recipe I’ve ever seen. Chili powder adds a subtle depth, cayenne provides some kick, and dry mustard adds its particular sharpness to the party. His mom once told me she wasn’t allowed to go to a family function unless she brought this macaroni and cheese.

I’m thinking about making these “only good thing I got” recipes a regular feature, but I only have two more, so without your help it won't be a very long running feature. If you happen to have a recipe you love that happened to come from an ex (of any variety) email it to me (marthameetslucy@gmail.com). I would love to share your good-for-nothing ex's recipe or (even better) have you do a guest post. Think about it. We could be a match made in heaven. Unlike me and my ex.

Macaroni and Cheese Recipe (Printable)

1 pound elbow macaroni (his mom used rigatoni)
1 stick unsalted butter
1/2 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
4 1/2 cups milk, use divided
1/2 cup parmesan
1/4 cup romano
2 teaspoons Tabasco
1 lb sharp cheddar (grated)
1 lb mozzarella (grated)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a large casserole dish or a 9x13 inch baking dish.

Heat a large pot over medium heat. Melt the butter and add the flour, black pepper, cayenne pepper, chili powder, and dried mustard. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the floury taste is gone. Don’t let the roux brown. Slowly add 3 cups of milk, whisking constantly. Increase heat to medium high, and stir until the mixture is smooth and thickened, about 5 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat. Add the parmesan and romano cheeses, tabasco sauce, and half of the grated cheddar and mozzarella. Stir until all the cheese is melted.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the elbow macaroni for 3 minutes. Drain the macaroni and add the pasta to the cheese sauce. Gently stir to coat all the pasta with sauce. (I usually put the macaroni back into the pot I cooked it in and add the sauce to that since its the bigger pot).

Layer 1/2 of the pasta mixture into the prepared casserole. Top with half of the remaining cheese. Repeat with remaining pasta and cheese. Before baking, pour the remaining 1 1/2 cups of milk over the top of the macaroni. Bake for 45 minutes or until browned and bubbling. If it begins to brown to quickly, cover with foil.

Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes before serving.

*Everyone does it. Don’t look at me like that.

**And its not at all gratifying to hear from a mutual friend that the girl who is now your ex’s ex is crazy (bat-shit variety)

***He did dispell my dad's worries that I was a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with being a lesbian. But I'm not, and my dad is very Catholic.

 

Comments

[Em (Wine and Butter)]

I love you!!! And sadly none of my exes went anywhere near a kitchen - warning sign in itself!

But guess what?? I was just thinking I might make mac n cheese for my book club! Is this recipe really the best? what do you think about adding squash to it...?? and how many people does it serve??

[Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella]

LOL great story! I'm picturing her as huuuuge! :P

[Deanna]

Em- as a side it serves 10-12. It makes a ton. And as much as I dislike my ex, I love this macaroni and cheese. It seems to be the only one I make, but I have been meaning to try Martha's recipe. I bet pureed squash would be great in here, and a fantastic way to cut some calories. I have a feeling cauliflower would work too, but I've never tried either one.

Lorraine- she really is. I'm pretty tall and she makes me feel like a dwarf.

[Jennie (the gf-gf)]

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of any good recipes from any of my exes ... and drawing a blank. They were all McDonald's cheeseburger and Kraft mac & cheese types. Sigh. Not that I was much of a cook back in the day, either!

[Krista]

There are precious few writers on this planet who can make me laugh out loud with mirth. You are one of them. :-) Going to be chuckling about the Fezzik comments all day. :-) I adore macaroni and cheese and this sounds absolutely amazing. I KNOW that chili and dry mustard would take it right over the top. :-)

[Deanna]

Jennie- if you think of one (or get one from a friend) let me know! I have big plans on posting a salsa recipe next week that my friend got from her ex.

Krista- Thank you! I'm terrible at quoting movies or I probably would have said them out loud. If you adore macaroni and cheese you really should try this one. I should mention that in the event of a mac n cheese overdose, it freezes really well.

[DessertForTwo]

hehehe! I had to laugh at your 'only good thing I got' remark. I haven't received any recipes from an ex, but their moms have given me some great ones. Of course I think about their lousy son everytime I make one of those recipes ;)

[Deanna]

DessertForTwo-you should really consider sharing one of those recipes with me. I technically didn't get this recipe from him...I got it from his mom. The next recipe is from an ex's mom too.

[cory @ {relish}]

i LOVE M&C....who doesnt?? im always looking for a great new recipe - this one is up next! YUM!

[R. Grace]

**And its not at all gratifying to hear from a mutual friend that the girl who is now your ex’s ex is crazy (bat-shit variety)

Oh my gosh, yes. This is the best recipe post I've ever read. The tablespoon of snarkiness makes the recipe even more delicious. :)

[Deanna]

R. Grace- Thank you! There is so much more snark where that came from.

[kyleen]

Oh gawd, two pounds of cheese for one pound of macaroni? Sounds like cheesey heaven to me. At least you gleaned a good recipe off your ex. All I have is... a paperclip heart.

[Deanna]

Kyleen- Well now I feel lucky. Macaroni and cheese is definitely better than a paper clip heart. And I can say that with certainty because I'm eating the leftovers right now.

[Brianna]

Oh gooosh, I live next to The Pop Shop in NJ - faumos for its grilled cheese. I love it, I love it. My favorite combo is grilled chicken with a chipotle guacamole on it. Add some tomatoes and lettuce and you're good to go! Delish.