I, like so many people, have an ex. I feel confident saying that most people have an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/friend. And if you happen to live in a small city that no one ever leaves chances are you will run into your ex-boyfriend. Then you might do some Facebook stalking* to see how much worse off his life is now that you aren’t in it, and find out he has a new girlfriend.
Who looks like Andre the Giant in a long blonde wig.**
Not this happened to me.
But if it were to happen, chances are she would work at one the restaurants I regularly hit up for happy hour. Because I am a good okay person I would resist the urge to quote Fezzik whenever she walked by.
“It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.”
“I’m on the brute squad”
“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?”
Thankfully, I have fantastic friends who pointed out that my ex was kind of worthless***. And while I wouldn’t go that far, I will say the best thing I got from my ex-boyfriend was a recipe for macaroni and cheese.
This recipe is super cheesy, clocking in at over 2 pounds of cheese to 1 pound of macaroni. Its unlike any other macaroni and cheese recipe I’ve ever seen. Chili powder adds a subtle depth, cayenne provides some kick, and dry mustard adds its particular sharpness to the party. His mom once told me she wasn’t allowed to go to a family function unless she brought this macaroni and cheese.
I’m thinking about making these “only good thing I got” recipes a regular feature, but I only have two more, so without your help it won't be a very long running feature. If you happen to have a recipe you love that happened to come from an ex (of any variety) email it to me (firstname.lastname@example.org). I would love to share your good-for-nothing ex's recipe or (even better) have you do a guest post. Think about it. We could be a match made in heaven. Unlike me and my ex.
Macaroni and Cheese Recipe (Printable)
1 pound elbow macaroni (his mom used rigatoni)
1 stick unsalted butter
1/2 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
4 1/2 cups milk, use divided
1/2 cup parmesan
1/4 cup romano
2 teaspoons Tabasco
1 lb sharp cheddar (grated)
1 lb mozzarella (grated)
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a large casserole dish or a 9x13 inch baking dish.
Heat a large pot over medium heat. Melt the butter and add the flour, black pepper, cayenne pepper, chili powder, and dried mustard. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the floury taste is gone. Don’t let the roux brown. Slowly add 3 cups of milk, whisking constantly. Increase heat to medium high, and stir until the mixture is smooth and thickened, about 5 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat. Add the parmesan and romano cheeses, tabasco sauce, and half of the grated cheddar and mozzarella. Stir until all the cheese is melted.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the elbow macaroni for 3 minutes. Drain the macaroni and add the pasta to the cheese sauce. Gently stir to coat all the pasta with sauce. (I usually put the macaroni back into the pot I cooked it in and add the sauce to that since its the bigger pot).
Layer 1/2 of the pasta mixture into the prepared casserole. Top with half of the remaining cheese. Repeat with remaining pasta and cheese. Before baking, pour the remaining 1 1/2 cups of milk over the top of the macaroni. Bake for 45 minutes or until browned and bubbling. If it begins to brown to quickly, cover with foil.
Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes before serving.
*Everyone does it. Don’t look at me like that.
**And its not at all gratifying to hear from a mutual friend that the girl who is now your ex’s ex is crazy (bat-shit variety)
***He did dispell my dad's worries that I was a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with being a lesbian. But I'm not, and my dad is very Catholic.