This is embarrassing to admit, but I’m adkfjdmajoringinnutritionfakdf. What’s that? You couldn’t understand me? Fine. I’ll try again. *deep calming breath* I’m a nutrition major. Whew, if feels good to get that off my chest.
The problem with my major is that I do a lot of eating during which I basically ignore everything I have learned. Like this garlic bread. That I pretty much made a meal of today. I did have glass of red wine with it which is good for me (and one of the only perks to being unemployed). This is not a healthy recipe. Or an unhealthy recipe trying to masquerade as a healthy one. This is an in your face calorie assault, best done with no concept of moderation.
I don’t know for sure, but I think my grandpa could eat this garlic bread everyday he would. This is a man who doesn’t eat crispy skin on chicken or the fat on a steak. He thinks the best thing to happen to pork chops in the last 50 years was breeding the fat out of pigs. I think my dad was adopted because none of these traits seem to have carried through the gene pool.
But oh Mylanta, that man will inhale this bread. He eats 1/2 a loaf by himself. And every. single. time. I make it he tells me I should be selling the spread. While he won’t be seeing it at the grocery store anytime soon, he will be able to make it at home because I made him a huge batch for Christmas.
Make this, but do yourself a favor and pretend calories don’t exist. And make more garlic bread than you think you’ll need. Trust me.
Garlic Bread Spread (printable)
I think the original inspiration for this recipe came from The Pioneer Woman, but it has been significantly adapted. Her use of mayonaisse was a stroke of brilliance that could not be denied.
I made a huge amount, because it keeps for a long time in the fridge (I scaled back the recipe below). This is also a great way to use up whatever leftover cheese you have in the fridge. Lastly, green onions are good in here instead of or in addition to parsley.
10 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup (1 stick, 113 grams) unsalted butter, room temperature
2 big spoonfuls mayonnaise (don’t even think about using Miracle Whip. Just don’t)
2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce
1/2 cup (53 grams) Parmesan cheese, grated
1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese or cheese blend, grated
2 tablespoons flat leaf (Italian) parsley, finely chopped
Bread (I like a rustic bread, with a good crust and lots of holes, but any bread will work)
In a medium sized bowl, combine all of the ingredients so everything is evenly distributed. It will look like a lot of cheese. That’s a good thing. Just keep going.
Set oven to broil. Position rack in oven so it is on the highest setting. Arrange slices of bread on a cookie sheet and broil the bread until it is golden, about 1 minute to 1 1/2 minutes. Watch it carefully, because it will burn. Remove the bread from oven and generously smear the garlic spread all over the broiled side of the bread. You don’t want any bread exposed. Return the bread to the sheet pan. Place the pan back under the broiler, and cook until the spread is bubbling and browned.